July 22, 2017

2017/17 - Dont Judge Me

Salam & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah❤

3 minggu dah start intern kat hospital Melaka, and alhamdulillah, everything was just fine. adat la budak intern ni kekadang kena marah, tak dilayan, kena sound pedas hahahaha. But masa week 3 hari tu, me and syazana (my intern partner merangkap my roomate) were assigned to Kaunter Utama and kat situ rasanya highlight for our intern sepanjang 3 minggu ni kot. We had so much fun there, kak Yan, kak Aera and encik2 kat sana were sooooo nice alhamdulillah and they treat us like family❤🌈 Hampir2 bertemu jodoh kat sana hahahaha awkward moment jap πŸ’…πŸ€£

i said this many time dah, life as grown up is not fun. Yes, ofcoz we can inspired by others, but the sooner we accept that we are all created differently, the easier we can focus on ourself and understand others better. Baru2 ni, someone said i have changed. i wonder if i have truly changed. i can't focus to everyone. i can't help everyone. Its hard to be responsible for others happiness all the time. Yes, we grew up together, saw each other membesar dengan jayanya, went through scary exams together but we're at different stage of our lives now. We met different people and have different friends who the rest have never met. You guys can't expect me to make you happy all the time. πŸ‘­πŸ‘­πŸ‘­πŸ‘­

I can't be physically and emotionally available for you guys all the time. When i was at my lowest point, struggling with my study here, fighting with my emotional state, jatuh bangun sakit i, my so called new friends were there to give me support. But i still  faham that you guys can't always be there for me tp tak semestinya you guys tak kisah about me kan. same goes to me too. Maybe at the time you guys minta tolong or need me, i have more important stuff to do, so i can't reply/help on the spot. But trust me, if you matter a lot to me, i'll get back to you sooner or later. Please don't judge me. Please, accept me completely for who i am. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜„✨

I still care and always will. Sumpah, i'm not the type of person yang senang2 nak let people walk out of my life and pretend that they don't matter anymore. Once you're in my life, you're there forever and i meant it. That is the type of person i am and you should know that. In friendship, i always feel like i dont have much to offer but with whatever little that i have, i will surely give my all and no friend of mine ever need to beg while i am still around. Lets make good du'a for each others and wish for each other's happiness (+goodness), becoz when we do that, Allah swt will give us the same, if not, more! if not in this life, kat akhirat nanti in sha Allah. πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ’•

My days are limited and no human being will ever be eternal in this dunya. The fact that i was able to live my life right now, surrounded by loving family and friends, was the most absolute amazing baraqah in my entire life alhamdulillah. i just hope, biiznillah, one day, i can work on being someone you guys can lean on in sha Allah. πŸ˜”πŸŒˆ

i may not be with you,
but you'll always be in my du'a❤
You guys will always be here, in my heart, dari dulu, kini dan selamanya.

Lots of Love,

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