July 8, 2017

2017/15 - One more down

Assalamualaikum & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah.

Last week, my cousin kahwin. Cousin yang dah macam kakak sendiri dah. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. i'm so happy for her. Finally, she met someone that can look after her lepas ni. Barakallah kak ina and abang Safwan. May you both have a happy marriage fill with His blessings and will guide and hold each other hands in this life and hereafter nanti.  Lepas tu macam biasa la, di tanya2 bila pulak kaklong yang sorang ni. Dah berpunya ke belum. Umur berapa nak kahwin. blerghhh. It's funny. Why people soooo curious bila orang nak kahwin. When the time comes, pufff i'll invite you guys don't worry (tapi tak tau la bila hehe)

i want good things to come my way. Ofcoz, nak kahwin tu one of my wish la if ada jodoh dekat dunia. Bila tu, only He knows hahahaha. i, if sedar TERcrush kat orang pun cepat2 block semua social media from that particular person. Tak pernah stalk any social media dia and tak pernah nak tau anything pasal dia hahahaha lol. Why? becoz, i don't want falling and hoping for the wrong guy. Kalau TERnampak ke TERserempak tu nasib la kan. But, serious talk, up till now, i belum lagi jumpa someone yang "okay, he's the one" gitchuwwwww 😂😛

Many people would label me as someone yang very comfortable with myself. But the reality is, i've struggled with myself confidence since i was kid. People have no idea how hard i am trying to fit in and balancing my emotional state. Becoz of that, i never learned how to match my behaviour with how i was actually feeling on the inside. i never learned how to work through my emotions dah. i rasa ni la sebab why i still can't find a suitable guy (btw, i'm looking for someone yang sopan inside out and soleh dalaman. kalau luaran pun soleh, bonus la hehe) i'm tooooo independent. i boleh buat everything by my own hahahaha k over takdela semua lol but becoz i've gotten so used of being the protector and do everything by my own, i haven't really learned how to be taken care of awwwwwww.

Today, so many people are let down by those who claim to love them. Kes cerai pun banyak. Kes pukul isteri lagi. Kes curang nya. Allahu. i don't understand people. You claim you love them but you hurt them. if we really love someone, we sure don't want to hurt them kan. The moment you give someone your heart, that's it! they will have the authority to break it, to destroy and crush it into the last piece. Sweet word are easy to say, but sweet people are difficult to find. Don't worry too much, when you stay on the right path and the time is right, the right person will appear in sha Allah. Call me old style, but i still believe this hehe

Let me tell you something. i always scared of a lot of things these days and one of it ni lah, getting married. i scared tooooo much that the only thing i could do is to pray that i will always do good and i believe i am strong enough to wait for what i deserve. Someday, i know, someone will walk into my life and make me realize why it never worked with anyone else.

True love is worth waiting for.

So for now, i really really really am not going to care about what others have to say becoz my main purpose in this life is to please my Maker. i know i will have to take baby steps day by day but i'll make sure to enjoy this baby steps at my own pace. The path to Him is long and my goal is to die upon the path of Him.

Life is a balance between world and hereafter kan, between dunya and akhirat. Allah knows i am far from balancing these things but at least i could start trying and with this in mind, i hope my blog will continously remind myself to reach this balance, in sha Allah!

ihfazillah yahfazka, Kita jaga hak Allah, Allah jaga hak kita 😘🤗

Lots of Love,

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