April 7, 2017

2017/10 - For the last time

Assalamualaikum & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah ❤


Busy sangat lately and i haven't got time to spend with my blog. i guess i shouldn't be surprised when my friends whatsapp me tanya if i'm still alive ke tak HAHAHAHA lol. For all those wondering, i am happy now but i am not sure why i still freak out when people ask/mention about this one person who used to be my favourite people dulu (lets call HER Timau - Timau is my teddy bear name btw). Rasanya dah lama i tak mention pasal dia. Acah acah dah move on hehe but seriously, dah move on dah pun cuma lately ni ramai pulak nak upload and mention dia on instewagewammm no matter how hard i try to avoid her. Of coz it's bother me lol. Don't get me wrong gaiz. i bukan annoyed dengan dia tau instead i am glad, alhamdulillah, she's having a good life now but you know, to slowly let go and start feeling better after 2 and half years is not an easy thing to do kan 😪😅

Everything has to come to an end kan. I am pretty sure her role in my life is part of it. So, i write about her today, for the last time and i really really really hope after this, she will never be mention in my blog anymore 😉

Three years ago, i had met this one friend, whom i thought i can trust and depend on. i really attached myself to her. We were so closed (at least, that's how i imagine). She got me hooked with a smile on my face most of the time even during my worst time, asyik mengacau time lab, time class, time lepas class pun lol and she was sooo easy going and funny too. Until one day, there were signs that the friendship was no longer there. Everything went wrong that seeking forgiveness doesn't work and forgiving doesn't work either. I was so hurt. I no longer had my best friend. i never prepared for those.

It's weird, how one day i felt so happy to have such a great person as my friend in my life and the next day, she's no longer there. I could understand if we had a big fight ke apa but no! It ended without any spoken word. I was, and still confused as to why it ended without any spoken word. i was upset. i was angry (on that time la, now no more hehe). My heart got ripped into a million pieces. i trusted her, and she blew it just like that.i used to wish our friendship ended over a fight or something la kan at least i have a reason to hate her but i am no longer searching for the answers now. No matter how much i want, i know, i can't hate her. It takes years and plenty of dramas + tears to be into a better shape back and alhamdulillah, i'm all good now hehehe.

Dear Timau,
if we're still friend now, i believe there will be so much more to be done and enjoyed together. So many moments to be laugh together kan. i wanted to tell you about my crazy hectic days as a biomedical student, celebrate birthday sesama every year walaupun kita lain kos, graduate sesama and nak lepak Al Firdaus sesama nanti. HAHAHAHA (but i'll definitely see you in Jannah nanti in sha Allah!) 😁😁

after 2 and half years, i finally choose to see the good in you and let you go. Gone for good. Thankyou for some of the best times in my life. We shared some amazing experiences together over few months, ones that still make me smile when i think about up till now. i would never be the person i am today without you. may you grow to be a good muslimah, loved by many and may your heart remain pure towards goodness and your life fill wih His blessings in sha Allah ❤ Shield yourself from negativity and please have a good life as you dream for it to be!

As much as i would like to say more words to you for the last time, i think its time for me to put the past behind hehehe. With that, this comes to an end. If our paths meet again soon, i hope you will still remember me tau. i will always cherish, be happy and make bundle of du'as for you coz i still love the people i've love even if i avoid them in this life and that is one of the reason why i made this post! to still remember you and your memories in my next life hehehe take care!

i am happy now,
but you're not the reason anymore 😁

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
MAA

1 comment:

  1. "I am no longer searching for the answers now"

    Have you tried asking her the reasons why she behaved like that? T___T

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