March 17, 2017

2017/9 - Time, please!

Assalamualaikum & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah ❤

i was having a really really stressful days due to some personal things and i started to develop some really negative thoughts. i was not in my best physical shape lately. asyik sakit sana, sakit sini, bleeding sana bleeding sini. my leg punya muscles and bones were aching soooo bad it felt like few knives stabbing through them (or at least, that's how i imagine rasa dia *drama 😅) sampai rasa nak give up dah. i baca, when you're in pain, your sins are being cleansed. I must have a lots of sins then *cries a river*. Susah for me to face my current reality that i was just not fit anymooorrreeeee. Well, it hurts! i really need to smack some sense to myself right now. At time like this, i know, this body i have on loan from Allah, needs to be given some attention too kan.

Everyone yang went through an awful time, sure nak someone yang dia can trust to be there with them through their worst time. Including me. Saying "takpeeeeelaaaaaaaaaaaaa, aku okaaayyyyyy" when my heart just got ripped into a billion pieces lol but deep down, i hope someone out there can help me smile when i think i will never smile again. i don't blame anyone. Maybe i am the one yang overestimated everything hahaha lol *facepalm*. The tension began to grow and i felt like taking some time off would be a good thing to do but NOOO, it was not the right decision lol. So, i choose to fight against my own feeling now and i know, it won't end in a day. Itu for sure. But, we are asked to try, day by day, little by little, progress slowly, closer to Allah kan. i still believe, my effort is not a waste and my du'a is not ignored. He listens every single du'a i made and He will give  me not what i want kan, but what is best for me. in sha Allah. Eventhough i want something so badly, in the end, only Allah knows if it is best for me or not kan #positivevibes #positivezones

Despite the facts that i have met a lot of wonderful people in my life, i really really really hope some of them won't be temporary and i hope i will never give up on them too. i miss good old times. when we laughed at each other and spent our time together, sitting side by side and keep support each other even when we were not together. Tapi sekarang, everyone ada life and busy dengan life sendiri. aahhh rindunya masa dedulu. i wasn't quite sure what to expect from them and i dont want to tapi yang penting i rindu la zaman  sesama dulu haha, but naaaawww its okay. Time sure flies. 

Life is not perfect. We're only human after all kan. When Allah throws a mini test on our way,  don't easily give up #notetoself. Negative things happened to all of us and everyone face different set of struggles. We all have our battles. i have mine, you have yours and others have theirs. Try to look at bigger picture. Allah won't give you what you can't handle kan. Everyone knows that! I try to enjoy every single moment in my life even with all the flaws and challenges that come my way in sha Allah, becoz of faith! and becoz i know, there is a greater power watching over, protecting and guiding me days and nights❤ 

i wrote this post to myself as a form of reminder and i want to remember these things for the years to come in sha Allah. Oh! and please surround yourself with good people and most importantly! be good to people too. Whatever we do, lets always have the hereafter in mind and chase all the goodness we can find in this world. i am leaving my ego for Him, for Al Firdaus in sha Allah.

To my all time friend, who never give up on me, thankyou, for being a good friend who i am soooo, lucky alhamdulillah, to have crossed path with. It must be hard for you to keep hold on me up till now. You were there for me almost all the time when i was at my worst time and i will always make good du'as for you of coz, coz you will always hold a special place in my heart. i love you, lilahita'ala 😁

life is just so serious.
when did life get so real?

Lots of Love,


  1. it helps right to write something like this. And one day later when we came across this post (at that time maybe we are in a good state), I'm sure we will be more grateful for having ups and downs in life.

    I agree, some people want someone to be by their side when they are not feeling good. But, growing up I realised eventhough we / they try the best for support each other, there will be times we get very busy and not able to do so. Sometimes, distance separates us. To contact each other every single time is a struggle, but we can always pray for them in our prayers.

    Keep fighting awak :)
    Life is a serious thing. HAHAHA. I wonder when actually I started growing older and have all these things to think about.


Here awak!