April 19, 2019

2019/9-Another Level

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah.


So last week, me and my plus two went to Port Dickson untuk attend one of my happy pill, Bella, punya engagement day. Oh well my classmate punya engagement day jugak la kan as yang lelaki pun satu kelas dengan i (so kitorang pun macam ok before start kita belah perempuan, nanti balik kita jadi belah lelaki pulak k lol). So it was my first time ever pergi engagement kawan sebab before ni memang i tak pernah pergi any engagement punya majlis kecuali family sebab i faham je engagement ni biasa buat within family members je kan but as for this one, she invited me personally, well, obviously i nak pergi raikan sekali hahaha. Dulu time belajar, i selalu je ikut these two pergi photoshoot as Bella ada her own product (Nabelle Scarf) and her partner pun ada business photograhpy, so they worked together. i adore these two sebab diorang boleh work as a teammate and tak berkira. Biasanya kalau i ikut shoot, bukan act as a model obviously, tapi i belajar cara nak guna kamera hehe. i belajar jadi belakang tabir sebab i more to photography/video punya person instead of model yang mana memang taklah kan. Lepas tu, i selalu jugak ikut Bella pergi buat student cab. ikut ambik customer jelah tapi lol menyibuk. Ohh and masa third year,i jadi roomate tak official Bella dengan Iqma sebab i kan kena tendang keluar kolej lepas tu merempat la kat bilik orang kahkah up till final year pun i stil menyemak kat bilik diorang teheeee.

She was so cute. The day dia nak inform i dia nak ke another level ni, well she said i orang pertama yang dia bagitau, (but never that she know, we already "dah tahu") but not officially from her so kitorang cam lek lek buat tak tau dulu hahaha. Each time people let me know something big going to happen in their life to me, i felt terharu tau. How come you guys percaya dekat i to let me be among the first to  know. awww that's toooooo sweet i kenot tsssk.

That was one of the reason why i decided nak pergi jugak even majlis dekat Port Dickson and it took us like plus minus 4 hours jugak nak sampai dengan hadap jem lagi sebab ada accident. But alhamdulillah a'la kulli hal, everything was fine. On the same day, my new baby Jannah sampai ihiks. Have i told you not, alhamdulillah i bought a new car hehe nama dia Jannah (well i still love you Maryam-my first car no worries) Maryam, banyak tolong i and my friends during our final year. Banyak sangat. Thankyou Yam, thankyou for helping and making things easier for me and my friends during our final year. sobs. i love you so much. Tiberrr masuk pasal kereta lol. But anyways, balik pada topik asal kita, engagement day Bella, so i tolong bawak dulang and ambikkan gambar (dah upgrade sikit haha) ohh and i kat dalam tu tolong si bakal pengantin lelaki yang tengah nervous kat luar update apa yang berlaku kat dalam rumah tu hahaha lol tak sia-sia datang jauh-jauh perform teghukk.

Ok la, itu je kot. Congratulations Bella on your engagement. May Allah ease everything sampai ke hari nikah nanti in sha Allah dan seterusnya sampai bila-bila. Amin. i made a special video on her engagement day as a present from me to her and i'm glad she likes it sooooo much hahaha. Ohh btw, just to let you know, if you follow me on my instagram, kadang i selalu je post video i edit on my feed. Any videos yang event orang biasanya memang i akan tanya owner dulu before post. Once the owner bagi green light baru i post. So for Bella's case, i dah tanya dia and her partner before i post k so takyah la kau nak membawang sangat lol. But now, i don't permanently letak dekat feed. i letak for like 2-3 days then i archive leeeeeee but hey, it's my feed btw tak suka boleh unfollow. thanks. hehe.

Okay Syaimaa. Macam mana ni misi cari soulmate tak jalan pun. Dah boleh serious banyak sikit la rasanya kot 😭

Doakan Syaimaa jugak semua orang okay!. Tak tak belum desperate lagi ni hehe.

My plus two. Thankyou you two.

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤


April 6, 2019

2019/8 - Enjoying days.

Salam & hai.
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah.


So monday hari tu, these two kononnya nak surprise kan i but end up diri sendiri tersurprise haha. Terkejut la jugak sebab yang tengah tu (nama dia Sally btw) datang jauh-jauh dari Johor tssskkk. Sebenarnya i sepatutnya met her bulan lepas dekat IUKL before dia balik Johor for good, tp tak sempat. These two classmates saya masa dekat Sains Muar, tak sangka up till now pun boleh geng lagi sebab jumpa nya pun tak selalu. So much fun, reminiscing old good days. Thankyou, for making my hectic day dah tak hectic hari tu haha.

Short sikit la post kali ni. Saja nak buat appreciation post haha. Thankyou, Sally and Owhlife for making my monday night sooooooooo fun. i'm having rough days at work nowadays. Everything was perfect. My teammates baik, my housemate cool, my officemate da bomb but exclude this one particular person who keep getting on my nerves ughhh. i really need to take some time off but not now kot. i need a short escape untuk relax.

Btw, i dah 4 bulan survive kat sini alhamdulillah. sooo proud of myself *pat myself* two more months untuk habiskan my probation period and let see apa yang jadi next. Anim kata Syaimaa macam dah kerja setahun. Dia ingat aku dah kerja setahun k padahal probation pun tak habis lagi. I shall introduce Anim soon to you guys sbb she's sooo nice and vibes the same energy like me hahaha but later la. Ohh btw, semalam one of my happy pills ws me bagitau dia dah nak masuk another level soooon alhamdulillah. Eiiii soooo happy for this one tau! May Allah ease everything for both of you in sha Allah.

Ok la. Doakan saya dekat sini. 

Thankyou.

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤

March 17, 2019

2019/7 - Bestone.

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan!


Last week, my dormates masa dekat Sains Muar dulu (dormates sebab not one but two ihiks) tied the knot with their own soulmates. Sorang kahwin dengan senior Sains Muar jugak kemain tau yang sorang lagi dengan partner dia lah kan haha. This time, my other dormates yang dekat gambar atas ni dengan gigihnya turun Shah Alam, awww sis terharu. They arrived around 1.30am lol pastu sempat lagi lepak icity then stayed at my house. Lama tak jumpa macam-macam borak rindu sangat. Last jumpa masa after SPM lah kot ada diorang datang Melaka sekali tu around 2013 lepas tu tak jumpa dah (kecuali Fathiah haha sebab dia rajin lawat saya kat UPM dengan Melaka tu). Now everyone dah ada life sendiri, most dah kerja. Fathiah tengah sambung Master while Lisya pulak tengah final year dekat Alex sana. But alhamdulillah we still contact with each other up till now, thankyou whatsapp and instagram hehe.

Well back to 2011, when i was first met this sweethearts, masa tu i first time masuk asrama and sumpah i stress gila nak lawan homesick. The first person i met was Azzah (not in the picture), our ketua dorm. Masa tu dia baru bangun tidur and i thought dia senior sebab muka serious garang je haha dalam hati dah bising-bising dah kenapa kena jadi bedmate senior lol never i know manusia ni lah paling tak betul dalam dorm and the rest is history. When i fight with my homesick, these people takpernah putus support me. My homesick lain sikit dari orang lain haha. i tak makan for the first 6 months dekat sana. i dapat energy from minum air milo kotak je and tunggu sampai hari jumaat/sabtu untuk pulang bermalam/outing (i still balik rumah hehe). Balik dari kelas, most of the time i duduk depan loker unless pergi mandi and solat. Solat and mandi pun mesti i paling lama sebab menangis-nangis dulu hahaha (ini first 6 months k). Lepas tu, i selalu kena panggil dengan mentor dorm (Cikgu Nazli) sebab senior report i duduk depan loker je diorang risau. Sejak tu i jadi mentee "kesayangan" cikgu Nazli dah la dia guru kelas i masa form 4 lol each time habis kelas biology mesti dia tanya, "Syaimaa duduk depan loker lagi tak semalam" "pergi makan dekat dewan tak semalam" haha. i miss her.

i remember masa tu baru 2 bulan i kat sana, tiba-tiba cikgu displin, that time cikgu Azman announce yang takboleh outing every week dah. Kena selang seli aspura and aspuri sebab kantoi senior asyik keluar dating. i punya mengamuk masa tu, sampai nekad lah nak keluar dari sekolah (tapi tak berani pun nak request keluar kat ayah haha). Apa lagi eh, hmm oh baru-baru masuk tu junior semua kena pergi audition macam-macam. sebab sekolah i on that time hanya form 4 and 5 je (now dah ada form 1 sampai form 5). So i pergilah audition koir, caklempung, angklung and paling takoleh bla audition zapin k (sebab senior dorm i yang pakai baju purple kat dalam gambar tu wakil zapin sekolah so adik dorm dia semua kena pergi audition zapin) dan memang kaku plus kayu lah cerita dia kan haha. Funny! yet antara moment yang i still ingat up till now.

Then bila i dah join banyak aktiviti dekat sana, dah ada ramai kawan, dah rapat dengan dormates, makin hari makin seronok dan tak homesick alhamdulillah. Bila i masuk form 5, i kena pindah dorm BGN sebab i majlis tertinggi badar sekolah on that time walaupun perangai kelaut hahaha but i still spent my time dekat dorm bestone. Tiap-tiap malam i naik bestone almulk sesama diorang lepas tu lepak-lepak sampai tengah malam then baru i balik BGN. Kadang i tidur je kat sana, pagi after subuh baru i balik BGN. Ahhh i miss good old times. i miss student life. i miss my life dekat Sains Muar huhu. Okay cerita sikit la masa i jadi naqibah, i jadi Amirah Lujnah surau. Ketua surau (perempuan) la senang cerita. Surau-surau dekat blok aspuri plus surau besar i handle. So bila masuk maghrib, blok Bestari dengan Budiman akan selalu lah dengar i menjerit suruh turun surau hahaha (most of the time la sebab biasanya naqibah dorm akan rotate jerit), dengar suara i ketuk dorm suruh turun and masa ni lah berapa ramai yang confess akan menyorok bila nampak i. i don't mind pun. i jenis yang okay je asalkan you turun solat haha. Lepas tu i akan lead mathurat before solat maghrib (yang ni pun rotate ikut dorm), imamkan solat (pun rotate ikut dorm) cuma bila kitorang dah form 5 and nak SPM tu baru start doa wadah. Sayu je each time baca sambil hold hands kawan batch. sedih. Selalu je kena kecam hahaha, tapi lama-lama okay je sebab diorang tau i bukan la naqibah yang strict nak mampus kahkaah selalu je bagi lepas diorang lol.

itu je kot. Reminiscing old good days masa sekolah. Now tengok adik-adik baru dapat result SPM, i wish i boleh masuk sekolah balik. But what to do, i am a soon to be 24 years old dah. Dah masuk working phase dah pun ughhhhhh. Time sure flies kan. Takpelah, hope everything gonna be smooth and good for me in sha Allah. More things to come nanti hehe.

Lets just enjoy life!

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤

March 5, 2019

2019/6 - Good Old Days

Salam & hai.
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan.


saya kembali. hehe. came across this picture tadi while scrolling down gambar lama. Ini classmate asasi saya (yang girls, yg boys tak tau pergi mana). Lepas tu sayu sensorang. Teringat masa asasi. Time sure flies, dah 5 years dah. This picture was taken masa bbq dinner kitorang tak ingat tarikh bila but time nak dekat final exam for our final semester rasanya. Alhamdulillah i still can remember diorang punya karakter even ada yang after habis asasi tak jumpa langsung. Ada yang up till now pun still contact. Ada yang dah grad, ada yang tengah final year, ada yang dah kerja, ada yang dah sambung master, dah bertunang and ada yang soon to be mommy pun hahaha. Look at those smile. 

To be honest, asasi antara moment yg i won't forget in my entire life. Asasi tempat i belajar banyak benda baru. How to survive in uni's life sebab acah macam budak degree la time tu padahal asasi je hahaha. Orang pertama yang i jumpa, mestila my roomate Yan! up till now pun still contact walaupun after asasi dia sambung degree dekat UTP, tp every time dia datang upm, takpernah lupa nak lawat i. Yan baik sangat. dekat kolej tu siapa tak kenal dia memang noob la sampai aku nak introduce diri pun kalau sebut rumet Yan semorang kenal hahaha. Lepas tu brainstorm macam mana nak cakap dengan akak usrah yang keep on datang bilik sebab kitorang tak selesa lol. i miss you, Yan. Hope you're doing well there dekat Peghak sana.

Classmate pulak, first one yang i jumpa was nashrin. Pukul 6.30 pagi dah terpacak depan blok nak pergi kelas sesama naik bas first okay geng nampak tak ciri pelajar cemerlang. Tapi tu few weeks masa baru masuk je lah, lepas tu kelaut haha. Lepas tu kat blok i ada geng jugak, nashrin jiha dengan dila. 4 ketul ni memang geng blok main jerit-jerit je panggil sebab bilik jiha atas bilik i, bilik nashrin depan bilik jiha and bilik dila bawah bilik nashrin. Bilik yang selalu jadi mangsa lepak either my room or nashrin's lol.

Dekat kelas, i tak attach dengan sesiapa pun. i kawan dengan semua orang. i kacau orang sana, i kacau orang tu. adalah kawan yang rapat (now no more ihiks) but we don't stick together 24 hours. tapi, to be honest, i miss my "kawan rapat" the most right now. As i was going through old photos, it sent me back to the the good times. We don't take banyak photos sesama but i'm glad dia banyak ambik random selfies of us dulu. i don't even know why impak dia besar sangat in my life walhal i think kitorang kawan for like few months je. Maybe sebab dia baik. Maybe sebab she's the only one who gave me the same energy. Orang baik selalu orang akan ingat kan. It's been years now since we last talked like real la. Kalau borak awkward tu adalah beberapa bulan lepas kan lol. Kelakar. Dulu, i tried to blame everything on her sebab nak move on. i tried so hard and for awhile, it worked like magic because blaming her was easier than ambik positive side. But then, i realized, no matter how i want, not everything goes the way it should. You were one of those people that aren't meant to stay in my life forever (or am i the one yg aren't meant to stay in your life? haha) but the important ones leave a mark. Well, you left  a mark on me! If i happen to meet you again one day kat majlis kengkawan lain or majlis kau ke or majlis aku ke kan, i know, it would never be the same again. And although memories will hit me like train lagi, i sincerely hope you and your family are doing well. I'm so happy to see you living a good and happy life even without me. I know you may never see this obviously, hahaha, but i just needed to get it off my chest. 

The lessons learnt are a blessing, anyway. 
Dont' worry, i'm all good now. No bitter feeling inside hehe.

Missing my Asasi girls ❤😜

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤

March 3, 2019

2019/5 - Someday


Salam & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan ❤


Here i am again, with another hour to spare to write something here. I've been sooooo stress (but on the same time i enjoyed myself) for the last 3 weeks. I don't know. Rasa macam dah start attach dengan orang kat sini sebab baik sangat semua orang and everyday bangun nak pergi kerja pun rasa semangat je nak2 after dah jumpa geng hahaha. But everyday jugak i remind myself takboleh attach sangat sebab i tak tau until when i akan stay sini. The workload for the past three weeks memang takpayah cakap la. Dengan cuti satu team kena freeze, kena OT, working life is no joke. Sorang buat hal, one whole team get ready la hahaha. But alhamdulillah, everything went well (not so well, sambung esok pulak ada short meeting) but whatever resultnya, i believe everything will be fine. As for me, i learned my lesson dah since study life lagi, i won't menyibuk hal orang dah. i'll just do my things lepas tu yang lain i malas nak kisah. Dengan erti kata lain, i mind my own business. Datang office, buat kerja, keluar rehat sambung buat kerja then off balik rumah pukul 6 sharp! hehe and kalau diorang cerita-cerita dekat i pun, i dengar je lah what else i nak buat kan. I dont really know them, and they don't really know me. i do kindness and then i move on jelah and i don't expect them to be kinder to me next time. Easy. no bitter feeling inside. Since i decide nak stay this way, everything around me become more and more and more positive, alhamdulillah!

i used to think that, working life ni macam another level. Yang mana semua orang serious buat kerja masing-masing and takdelah nak selisih faham yang over sangat. Well, i guessed, i'm wrong la kot kalau tengok situation in my office sekarang ni, i rasa kat mana pun akan ada masalah yang sama. Ok i'm going to cut this story short. i really need to learn to just get to the point hahaha. So the main thing yang i nak point out ialah jangan dengar anything from one side. Do you really not know what's more pathetic than not knowing anything? Thinking that you know everything after dengar one side je. It is always the best for you to ask, than to assume.

i haven't been there for anyone lately. if ada masa, i will randomly text anyone tanya how's their life sekarang. i'm sorry but i really need to start putting myself first before anyone. To be honest, for the past few years (sejak satu kejadian ni lol), i doubted myself worth. Sebab tu sometimes i prefer to be alone, so i can cry without being judged, i can think rationally and paling penting, i don't bring anyone down with me. Every single day, i prayed that i throw out these feelings and that i will eventually understand just how big a difference i can make if i start percaya others.

i start to reflect on myself. if you know me, you mesti tau i always make time for people i love and i go extra miles for some of them. To make things worst, i care too much to the extend of remembering tarikh and even the smallest details/things about them. But jarang sangat i dapat the same energy from the same people. i faham je, as everyone kan ada life masing-masing what should i expect kan huhu. As they update themselves dekat social media and tengok diorang happy with their life pun i dah cukup happy dah. Tapi, Allah swt  tu baik kan, He gave me orang lain yang go extra miles and make extra time for me yang kadang i tak pernah perasan pun but lepas masuk twenty four (soon) ni baru i sedar. Alhamdulillah. Orang lain ni jugak yang keep checking on me how's my day here, macam mana kerja, homesick lagi ke. How have i ever deserved such love from someone yang i takpernah pun bagi extra attention.  Some blessings are easy to overlooked sebab we got used to them and we tend to take them for granted kan. Terima kasih Allah, untuk semuanya. In the meantime, i learnt to be more grateful and content with what i have in my life right now. 

i had no illusions about anyone dah. i will try to expect less and live my life happily hehe. Human beings, by nature, will forget. if people stay, alhamdulillah. if not, others will come along, replace them just like how they let others replace me. Maybe they left sebab i'm not good enough to make them stay. My sincerest prayers go back to every person who had my back when i was at my lowest point. i do everything that i can to never have to depend on anyone and show my weaknesses. Well, i think betul la kan, sometimes you can feel lonely even when  you're not alone. To anyone out there, please don't let people count on you and then break their trust. if someone tell you that they trust you, do not take it lightly.

Here's what i've learned, when people genuinely care, it shows and i have told myself, if Allah swt let me have a good life, i'll do more good deeds to others. i wrote this post, with smiles attached. k fine, i sedih sikit la huhu. i miss everyone. i miss my happy pills. but i don't run after people anymore and i mind my own business now remember? hehe. But i will always pray good things for you guys. Hope each and everyone of you are doing well wherever you guys berada and whatever you guys do! 😘
Ya rabb,
make us not tired of doing good to others and ask nothing in return from them, or wanting to be appreciated. Purify our intention, solely for You. Things are not always easy and sometimes it feels tooooo much to handle, but You promised us Ya Rabb,
La Yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha ❤

P/s: Lately ni my blog views makin banyak pulak. Ada yang rindu i stalk blog i ke tu hahahaha!

Barakallah,
Lots of love,
S