May 15, 2018

2018/6 - Aisyah kakak

Salam & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan ❤

Eh hai! hahahahahahahaha
masih ingat saya owner blog ini? lol. Its been a while masha Allah. Sekejap sangat masa berlalu I dah habis VIVA dah btw hehehe alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah! Despite all the hectic days, alhamdulillah berjaya survive sampai ke VIVA ni rasa dia lain macam sikit. Banyak betul dugaan nak VIVA ni Tuhan saja yang tahu. i'll write my pre-VIVA's experience dalam entri lain nanti in sha Allah.

Few weeks ago, i went to one of Rumah Kanak Kanak for my CBL project. Kat sini semua kanak-kanak under perintah mahkamah dari lahir sampai umur 12 tahun. Saya ni hati tisu sikit, once i stepped in the house, nampak adik-adik ni, ya Allah my heart 😭Saya sebagai kaklong ni, yang ada adik lebih kurang baya adik2 ni, i kennot tahan. Did some  activities with them, tapi masha Allah tak terkawal semuanya hahahaha tapi biasalah nama pun budak-budak kan. i handle dua sessions. One checkpoint for explorace, satu lagi untuk volcano's session. Nampakla diorang berminat nak buat volcano session tu!! kalau tak semuanya................attention span diorang tak lama plus energy diorang melebih lebih extra, sebab tu cepat je distract hahahaha

So i saw this one girl, this girl tak join group dia tapi sibuk mencabut sticker i tampal. The same girl marah i balik bila suruh join group. Again, my heart hahahahahahahaa *if you know what i mean* Then, i ajak dia main game dekat station i sebab time tu takde orang datang. Dia nampak happy sangat, dengar kata. Lepas tu i ajak dia jadi assisstant i. Wah lepas tu dia kemain active lagi hahahaha i can see happiness in her eyes. Sejak tu, she kept following me mana2 i pergi, protect i dari kawan2 dia, jagakan makanan, hahaha shoo cute mcm bestfriend dah. One thing i perasan, this girl sangat tegas. ohh this one nama dia Aisyah, umurnya 10 tahun. Kat sini orang panggil dia kak Aisyah uolss. siap ada adik2 admire lagi hahahahaha kemain kau. i spent most of my time with her sambil handle games and alhamdulillah everything went well.

Bila nak balik, ada sesi bersalam macam biasa. She gave me a sudden hug from behind. ya Allah my heart againnn don du dis 😭😭 That moment i know someone has made an impact on me, so i decide to bagi Aisyah one of my precious thing in my life, my ring. i guess i am not ready to say any farewell yet. But no worries, life must go on kan. i had made du'a for her and her friends. may Allah swt protect them from any danger and in sha Allah syurga buat mereka.

That day,
someone leaves a mark on my heart that can never be erased.
Dear Aisyah kakak, live in kakak's heart, forever.

saya dah ring-less ni awak bila nak hantar ring?
cia cia ke tu hahahaha

its a joke k takyah nak serious sangat

Lots of Love,

April 2, 2018

2018/5 - Thankyou, March!

Salam & hai!
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan, in sha Allah!

Ok guys.
Quick update on my life right now.
(acah busy final year hehe)

Few weeks ago, we decided to join one video competition dekat fakulti. Pertandingan Video Promosi, Jabatan Sains Bioperubatan, Fakulti Perubatan dan Sains Kesihatan UPM. Start dari tak tau nak buat apa langsung, blank, hahahaha and alhamdulillah end up we won the first place. Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah. Actually, me and my teammates macam tak letak high hope sangat nak menang first place sbb others punya video pun masha Allah kebaboomm sangat. We believe, whatever the outcome, that would be what’s best for us. Tapi rezeki Allah nak bagi masa final year ni 😘😭 I thanked Allah swt for these teammates, yang banyak bagi kerjasama, yang senang nak minta tolong, yang senang nak ajar (I grab the chance nak belajar videography & photography jugak dari KA hahahahaha). Last month has been a great one, well for me at least hehe. Tapi tak jugak. Ada jugak not-so-great-moment especially bila my experiment tak jadi lol and ada some issues between me and people around me. Tapi apa pun, I am enjoying my final year to the fullest and for such ups and downs every day, I would never trade my life with any other!

I just posted another entry guys. if you keep reading, you will read my not-so-baru-entri sbb dah ada dalam draft berabad tapi baru sempat post hari ni so maafkan je lah k. Final year is no joke man. Nak kata busy sangat, tak jugak but i tak tau mana pergi masa yang ada 🀣Sekarang, everyone still tengah busy dengan projek, ada yang dah habis projek tengah focus dengan writing while me still busy dengan projek dan writing hehehe (tapi i banyak main tau tak tau la nak jadi apa ni). Ohh and everyone pun tengah busy prepare for our last dinnnaaaahhhhhhhhh. i'll update pasal dinner nanti kayyyyy!!!!

Lately, i received banyak DMs on insta and emails pasal Biomedik. i am so soorryyy kalau ada yang terlambat and tak sempat reply. But you guys can ask me personally through my email k, i'll try my best to reply you guysss in sha Allah and you can read more about biomedik hereeee. (please tahu yg i belum habis study lagi and currently in my final year, final semester to be exact k!) if ada masa, i'll update more about this programme dari perspektif seorang budak final year pulak k hehehehe.

Lots of love,

2018/4 - Chinguuuuu

Salam & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah ❤

"People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die."
- Haruki Murakami
After 4/5 years knowing these people (ada lagi not in the picture) i love genuinely (for the sake of Him), i am so happy to see these people have a close and loving friendship. Each second in my day without my family is always precious becoz of these people. As i am now already in my final year, final semester to be exact, i try to appreciate and enjoy the temporary moment jap lol.

i go through roadbumps toooo and it's emotionally draining tau lately. I would not be human la kan if i can keep my mind continously calm and positive selalu. Everyone need a time away. Perhaps i need space. Perhaps i need time to find myself back. I find myself easily click with some people more than others. Even if i go out, i am very selective of who i spend my time with. Most of the time, i enjoyed going out with people i am comfortable with. When I look back, takde lagi one person yang i got attached who didn't have something valuable to teach me. And the irony is, most of these people were temporary. Sometimes, i try hard to turn these temporary people into my forever people tapi if they're not meant to stay in my life, buat la apa pun, they won't be forever. Dulu, few years back, i become frustrated when this one particular person leave because i can't let go. i don't understand whyyyyy Allah swt would take back someone yang baik from me.

Tapi, year after year, i pun makin lama makin faham and boleh move on slow slow. Maybe if that particular person overstayed in my life, the love will die and the presence will not be inspiring anymore. Make sense kan. Beauty of faith, faith that the story is better left the way it is. The way Allah swt wrote it. Maybe if i try to rewrite it, the story will ruin my life kan who knows. Maybe Allah swt hantar some people in my life only to teach me lessons or heal myself and when the time is up, they went to someone else's life pulak.

i had no illusions about friendship anymore. if people nak stay, alhamdulillah. Kalau taknak, i'm all good. Others will come along, replace them just like how they let others replace me. It has been always good because they emptied some space for better people. i no longer have the energy for unnecessary people. if we don't vibrate on the same frequency, there's no reason to hold on each other dah. i used to pray so hard for friends i have now. They are not gila gila kaya, super religious etc etc but subhanallah, they have the most beautiful character. i have truly been blessed, alhamdulillah, with amazing friends who have become more like family. i know i love these people and i've found a pretty awesome thing once i feel sad when they're sad, happy when they're happy and i have this urge inside me to help and care for them.

if anyone should be thankful, it is me.


i better keep my circle small, 
less headaches πŸ˜‰πŸ™Œ

Lots of love,

February 16, 2018

2018/3 - Wisdom tooth again!!

Salam & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and iman, in sha Allah ❤
This was taken a day before my surgery and these two people yang teman saya, thankyou you two πŸ‘­❤

On 15th Feb 2018, i got my wisdom tooth removed. As far as i remember, when i had my lower left side wisdom tooth surgery last year (you can read it here), takdela sakit sangat and my face takdela swollen sangat. But this time, masha Allah. I can't even bukak my mouth for the first 24 hours after bius habis and i tidur almost 25 hours sejak balik semalam till now!! Ada la kalau dikira-kira dalam 3-4jam i bangun untuk makan ubat and the rest i hanya tidur. To remove my lower right side wisdom tooth, this is disaster for me k coz i dah remove one last year, and i tau betapa susah nya nak cope at least 2 weeks baru baik. Unfortunately, i have the strongest gigi bongsu ever lol and it took almost 1 hour to take it out tp alhamdulillah kali ni takde la drama suction tersekat ke, gigi sangkut ke sampai kena panggil specialist hehehe. 

So procedure dia sama je macam i pernah cerita malas nak explain balik and i arrived at 8 am, signed consent form and masuk la bilik Doctor. But apparently my right side tooth punya root ni wrapped around the nerve dan dalam posisi mencengkam ke bawah, so susah sikit nak keluar. Then start anesthesized, whatever they used, within a few minutes i dah start loss sensation dekat bahagian right side my mouth. My first time kena inject dengan dentist masa first surgery tahun lepas. tu pun cuak menggelebah but this time hehehe dah cool dah, tak heran pun! #goodjobsyaimaa. Lepas tu the extraction process start and i actually rasa and noticing everything yang Doctor buat sepanjang process but there was no pain at all (sakit biasa2 tu ada la tapi takla sampai takboleh tahan).

Once home, it was quite challenging. nak minum air pun susah, apa lagi nak makan. i had been told to take painkillers before the anaesthetic went off, and of coz, i did. it wasn't unbearable, it was unpleasent sebenarnya. i feel weird plus i rasa my tonsil bengkak coz i kennot telan properly. Last year, takdelah macam ni. Last year better la i rasa. My face takpayah cakap la, dah senget sebelah coz dah start swollen like nobody business dah lol. Last year bengkak jugak tapi tak obvious sangat. But still alhamdulillah a'la kulli hal. After 2 days, i dah boleh bangun and taip entri ni so okay la kan. At least i'm no longer in pain without the gauze pads!!! Cuma tak boleh cakap sangat and still rasa pelik haha.

Semoga my upper wisdom teeth tak impacted la coz there's no way i'm going through this surgery again!!!! NEVERRRR!!! Tapi okla, i had a good sleep for the past 2 days lol but now i'm craving solid food ahhhhhh.

i am handling my wisdom tooth removal like a champ k!
no more wisdom teeth in sha Allah!!πŸ˜˜πŸ’•

Thankyou Allah, for making everything easy and smooth during my surgery. Lagi 2 weeks in sha Allah nak bukak stitches and lepas tu i'm freeeeeeeeeeee!!!! But for now, #Roadto45 balik plis. For those yang plan nak remove wisdom tooth, goodluck kayyy!!! πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

p/s : now saya dah jumpa orang yang boleh drive manual car saya di saat kecemasan hahaha!!

Lots of love,

January 25, 2018

2018/2 - Semester 7, checked!

Salam & hai!
hoping everyone in the best of health and iman, in sha Allah ❤

Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah. dah selamat survive semester 7, result simulasi pun dah selamat keluar, i'm beyond happy at this moment and i owe this happiness to Him who hears and answers my prayers most of the time. Alhamdulillah, thankyou Allah!❤😘 i have told myself, if Allah swt let me have a good life for this 2018, i'll make more good deeds to others too hehe in sha Allah. 

For me, life is never easy. It doesn't come with a ready plot. Kita yang kena plot sendiri. Sebab tu ada ups and downs jugak. There are phases bila i rasa demotivated gila and during all these difficult moments la i sometimes find myself falling off track. During these moments jugak, i really need someone that will continue hold me and encourage me along the way, the one yang give me booster when i am feeling demotivated.

Kalau nak ingat balik, sepanjang 5 tahun study dekat UPM, there were times my life took unexpected routes that completely throws me off tau. Sampai rasa nak give up dah. Menangis takpayah cerita la. Masa tu fikir if i take some time off would be a good way to heal myself. Tapi i tahu, the moment i give up, that's the end. i desperately need motivation in my life masa tu. Fighting the battle (study) that i had along with other challenges of life was very difficult. 

But Alhamdulillah, i met people who encourage me with their words, advices and du'as. They are my happy pills, who remind me to eat sayur instead of junk food and paling annoying and paling suka sakitkan hati lol but masha Allah, they are full with kind words and du'as for me. i talk, literally pour my heart out and tell most of the thing dekat diorang and alhamdulillah, i'm all good now hehe. i'm so proud of myself right now. Berjaya survive sampai semester 7 and in sha Allah masuk final semester this upcoming February.

Sometimes it is good to stop and look back at all the things that i already have and take time to appreciate them but lets face it, life in this era is not easy. Some goals might not be easy, but with hard work and the permission of Allah swt, they are certainly possible. Purify intention, put in the effort, make du'a and paling penting, trust Allah swt. 

Life is a strike balance between dunya and akhirah and Allah swt knows i am far from being one. So, with this in mind, i hope i will continously remind myself to reach this balance.

Ya Rabb,
bestow rightful knowledge upon me.
Please accept my imperfect deeds and bless me with the beauty of true repentance :)

Semester 7, Checked!
Hai Final semester!!!!

P/s : Hai Hasnatul Mardiaah 😘

Lots of love,