June 16, 2019

2019/12 - Eid Mubarak!

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan.


Eid Mubarak!
Taqaballahu Minna Waminkum :)

Hari ni dah 12 syawal, still valid kan nak wish Selamat Hari Raya hehe. Hopefully you guys had beautiful days of syawal spend with your loved ones. Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah for another year to celebrate Ramadhan and Syawal. Ending Ramadhan and welcoming Syawal, 1001 perasaan. My Ramadhan this year different from previous years. I sempat puasa kat rumah for like 5 days je and the rest dekat shah alam. As i am now dah into new phase of life (which is working phase k bukan married phase haha) i dah kena tough sikit.

To summarize this year punya Ramadhan, i still tak take fully granted of this blessing month. There were some nights i tak pergi terawikh. There were days i tak jaga mulut and banyak melagha hahaha. i feel bad to let myself tak ikut planner ramadhan yang i buat hiks but still alhamdulillah banyak benda positif and baru i belajar this year. Thankyou Allah bagi saya macam-macam kebaikan this Ramadhan. Moga saya sentiasa bersyukur dan tak terleka dengan kebaikan yang Allah bagi pada saya. 

To the other side, syawal tahun ni pun a lil bit different for me sebab i sekarang dah jadi PEMBERI duit raya bukan lagi PENERIMA duit raya. It feels weird sumpah susah nak adapt dengan kenyataan ni but well i did it! i dah bagi duit raya geng!!!! hahaa walaupun tak banyak but still alhamdulillah ada rezeki nak bagi duit raya dekat anak-anak buah dan sepupu sepapat eh semua lah lol. My cousin yang paling rapat dengan i like kitorang membesar sesama finally got engaged alhamdulillah on 2nd day syawal with someone yang dia kawan nak dekat 9 tahun. i kept these two punya relationship 9 tahun as a secret k wowww such a keeper Syaimaa tibeeehhhh.

Lately ni i banyak received good news from people around me especially from my bestfriends la obviously siapa lagi nak bagitau good news dekat i kan haha. Alhamdulillah i am soo happy for everyone. To be honest, i am not good untuk keep in touch dengan orang. Even my childhood bestfriend pun i jarang contact but once contact tu takde beza langsung still sama. i appreciate this kind of friendship. takde pun nak tarik tarik muka nak terasa sana sini dah besar pun nak terasa sebab orang tak contact kau dah kenapa. tapi tbh lagi, i tak kisah pun if my friends tak contact i jugak sebab i pun tak reti nak keep in touch kan. win win situation. no bitter feeling inside. i miss everyone, i miss my childhood sweethearts, my highschool bestfriends and my happy pills a lot like A LOT that the only thing i could do is to pray that they're always doing good. Nak jumpa memang susah la kan. Semua pun dah ada life sendiri and semua tengah otw nak a step closer to masing-masing punya future.

i haven't been there for anyone lately sejak duduk sorang ni. i don't even bother unless you ada depan mata. Sorry but i go through hard days too and it's really emotionally draining bila you kena fight sorang. But alhamdulillah getting better day by day and enjoying my good life. Nowadays, i just want people who matter to be around me. Nak kecilkan my circle and nak focus more untuk people yang always give me positive vibes and send me the same energy. Kena jadi selfish sikit dah besar ni. Well, selfish in positive way la kan. Being selfish doesn't make you a monster pun as you need to focus on yourself jugak kan. its been a few hectic months here since i start stay shah alam and alhamdulillah, i dah dapat offer letter for permanent position.

Banyak lagi nak cerita but till next post la pulak malas nak update panjang-panjang. i enjoyed updating my blog sebab ada masa i will scroll balik post-post lama and live the past moment back huhu tapi itulah, menyesal jugak delete post tahun 2010-2014 ughhhh sebab time tu baru nak up tulis blog banyak benda merepek i cerita tapi ughhhhh lagi sekali haha.

Thankyou Allah, for giving me a good life and good people around me up till now alhamdulillah. sobs. May all the good deeds and actions we did during Ramadhan will continue sampai bila-bila in sha Allah.

Eid Mubarak everyone! enjoy your syawal and till we meet again next year Ramadhan Kareem :')

Barakallah,
Lots of love,
S❤

May 12, 2019

2019/11 - Rest well Mad, Al Fatihah.

Salam & hai.
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan.


Last friday, my 24 year old friend, Muhamad, returned to Allah swt. 

I last jumpa dia when we went to visit him last April. It was so painful for us to see him like that and thinking how much more painful it must be for him to endure it, but subhanallah, tak pernah sekali pun dengar dia merungut sakit sepanjang melawat (cuma merungut tak dapat makan sedap due to his condition and dia kena pantang haha). This was not his first accident but masa melawat tu, he looked a bit better and that kind of gave us hope that one day he will get better and sihat macam biasa. Slowly but surely. Little that we know, Allah swt sayang dia and He decided to take Mad back to Him last friday.

But guys, Muhamad went away sooooo beautifully. The signs were so good. It was a friday and in the holy month of Ramadhan masha Allah. When he arrived to be buried at the cemetery, cuaca redup sangat. Tak panas. Tak hujan. He was surrounded by all who loved him. His brother sampai from Japan 7 pagi the next day to see him for the last time. His teacher, lecturers and friends from school and uni turun melawat. Ramai sangat. Sebab Mad baik sangat masa hayat dia, selalu tolong orang, selalu mudahkan urusan orang lain, semua orang sayang dia. i remember i told many people, kalau i tengah susah, tetiba kereta/motor rosak ke, the only kawan lelaki yang i percaya and i akan call is Mad. Sampai dia pernah cakap "apalah Syaimaa nak buat tanpa aku" haha. i believe most of my girlfriends pun akan cakap benda yang sama.

Sigh. Mad, up till this day pun, some of us still can't believe you're no longer with us but we are sooo happy your suffering has stopped. You're a good person to a lot of people, and for all the kindness you've shown to people, i pray Allah swt will reward you with the highest Jannah. I have never heard any single things yang tak baik about you and you selalu sabar when someone does you wrong. So know that you have left behind a good side of yours to each of us. I'm glad i pergi visit you last time, never that i know that will be the last time we laughed together. I'm glad diberi kesempatan to send you for the last time semalam mad. Aku tak sempat bawak kau jalan naik kereta as penumpang aku Mad macam yang kau selalu mintak, ralat sangat rasa. We shall meet again soon mad in sha Allah. Don't worry about your parents. Both of your brothers i believe akan jaga mereka baik-baik. Don't worry about Lia and Ain either because i believe they both kuat as they know you're in a good place now. Rest well, Mad. Pray for us in heaven. 

i hope you're among the righteous and being pampered by Allah swt, Mad. I hope you met your own "Mira Piljah" in Jannah nanti. You're missed every single day by so many people. Al Fatihah, Muhamad bin Mohamad Zakaria. i hope you guys will sedekah Al Fatihah for him too.

I documented moments with my loved ones in writing and videos and i suggest you guys to do the same with your loved ones because it's so nice to have memories. I don't want to lose that appreciation for good memories that will put a smile on my face. Whether or not the people in my photos/videos/writing are still around, whether or not we still remained friends, at least i know i was blessed enough to experience those memories together with them and i boleh throwback whenever i want.

I am soooo gonna record more videos and writes more of my loved ones after this.

Barakallah.
Lots of Love,
S❤
.

May 1, 2019

2019/10 - Ahlan Wasahlan Ramadhan.

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah!


Ramadhan Kareem everyone! Happy first day of Ramadhan Alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah to be given another chance to experience yet another blessful Ramadhan Kareem. Lets take full advantage and chase all the rewards and baraqah that this beautiful month offer. Well to be honest, the day i tulis this post, ada lagi like 4 days before puasa hehe tapi sebab takut malas nanti so alang-alang tengah rajin ni, baik siap-siap tulis.

Ramadhan is one of the month yg i believe not only me, but every muslim looking forward every year. This month always gives me goosebumps sebab all the magical blessings is just waiting to happen to us. The month where the shaitons are chained. One of my du'a yang wajib before start puasa every year ialah to let me have full Ramadhan (which 90% impossibble) or at least dapat the last ten days haha.

i didn't take fully granted of previous years punya Ramadhan, now that i am 24 this year ewahh macam dah besar la kan, hehe, i'm super excited nak chase all the multiplication of rewards that this month offer. i dah ada planner for ramadhan. Well, maybe ramai yang dah memang ada, but ni first time ever i buat planner for ramadhan so macam over sikit la excited dia. Before ni i pakai redah je. Tapi entahla sejak macam dah besar ni, how sayang it is to watch the month fly without being able to take full advantage of it kan. Dahla bulan-bulan biasa banyak buat dosa manusia sorang ni lol, so Ramadhan ni hopefully sedar diri sikit kejar pahala. 

Tapi rasa sedih pulak. For the past few years i selalu puasa dengan my happy pills, kalau tak pun i balik rumah puasa dengan family but now that i'm all alone here, rasa sedih pulak. 4-5 years ago, which feels like only yesterday, i didn't foresee the life i'm living right now. Tak pernah terfikir i akan puasa without my family and happy pills around. Tak pernah terfikir kitorang takkan berbuka sama, terawikh sama, beli makanan berbuka sama. Moreh lepas terawikh. Sahur sekali. Paling penting masa tu, study for finals haha. Good old days. Ada lagi ke orang yg go through their old pictures and videos lepas tu senyum sebab teringat how fun those times were haha. Me!!!!!!!!!!!! Tak pernah la tak menangis if tengok old pictures/videos. I'm sensitive like that. Kadang tu, i akan revisit places by myself just to chase that feeling. i can remember exactly apa yang jadi on certain tarikh and it hurts me soooooo bad sebab i tau i takboleh ulang balik all those precious moment. But i'm still glad i captured those moments in the first place. i miss my happy pills (walaupun baru je video call haha).

Parts of growing up is to learn untuk let go kan. People come and go. That's how it works. i tengah ajar myself to recognise when a life stage is over, okay dah kena let go. i need to allow myself untuk keluar from phase yang dah lepas and be prepared to have the most unexpected person to let me down. Nak let go is not easy, something that you learn on your own. Apa pun, i always always always pray for my happy pills. May Allah swt grant them the best that life can offer as it really made me happy to see my happy pills that i love fillah living a good life, with or without me. Betul la kan, when you love people for the sake of Allah, you just want to see them happy and hope for good things to happen to them.

Okay dah,

i think, i'll be off my social media this Ramadhan. I'm in need of spiritual healing. As i get older, i realize that inner peace is one of the most important treasures in life. Let's work on this dearself. Ramadhan mubarak, semua! may we have strength, patience and come out of this month with increased imaan and improved version of ourselves in sha Allah, amin.

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤

April 19, 2019

2019/9-Another Level

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah.


So last week, me and my plus two went to Port Dickson untuk attend one of my happy pill, Bella, punya engagement day. Oh well my classmate punya engagement day jugak la kan as yang lelaki pun satu kelas dengan i (so kitorang pun macam ok before start kita belah perempuan, nanti balik kita jadi belah lelaki pulak k lol). So it was my first time ever pergi engagement kawan sebab before ni memang i tak pernah pergi any engagement punya majlis kecuali family sebab i faham je engagement ni biasa buat within family members je kan but as for this one, she invited me personally, well, obviously i nak pergi raikan sekali hahaha. Dulu time belajar, i selalu je ikut these two pergi photoshoot as Bella ada her own product (Nabelle Scarf) and her partner pun ada business photograhpy, so they worked together. i adore these two sebab diorang boleh work as a teammate and tak berkira. Biasanya kalau i ikut shoot, bukan act as a model obviously, tapi i belajar cara nak guna kamera hehe. i belajar jadi belakang tabir sebab i more to photography/video punya person instead of model yang mana memang taklah kan. Lepas tu, i selalu jugak ikut Bella pergi buat student cab. ikut ambik customer jelah tapi lol menyibuk. Ohh and masa third year,i jadi roomate tak official Bella dengan Iqma sebab i kan kena tendang keluar kolej lepas tu merempat la kat bilik orang kahkah up till final year pun i stil menyemak kat bilik diorang teheeee.

She was so cute. The day dia nak inform i dia nak ke another level ni, well she said i orang pertama yang dia bagitau, (but never that she know, we already "dah tahu") but not officially from her so kitorang cam lek lek buat tak tau dulu hahaha. Each time people let me know something big going to happen in their life to me, i felt terharu tau. How come you guys percaya dekat i to let me be among the first to  know. awww that's toooooo sweet i kenot tsssk.

That was one of the reason why i decided nak pergi jugak even majlis dekat Port Dickson and it took us like plus minus 4 hours jugak nak sampai dengan hadap jem lagi sebab ada accident. But alhamdulillah a'la kulli hal, everything was fine. On the same day, my new baby Jannah sampai ihiks. Have i told you not, alhamdulillah i bought a new car hehe nama dia Jannah (well i still love you Maryam-my first car no worries) Maryam, banyak tolong i and my friends during our final year. Banyak sangat. Thankyou Yam, thankyou for helping and making things easier for me and my friends during our final year. sobs. i love you so much. Tiberrr masuk pasal kereta lol. But anyways, balik pada topik asal kita, engagement day Bella, so i tolong bawak dulang and ambikkan gambar (dah upgrade sikit haha) ohh and i kat dalam tu tolong si bakal pengantin lelaki yang tengah nervous kat luar update apa yang berlaku kat dalam rumah tu hahaha lol tak sia-sia datang jauh-jauh perform teghukk.

Ok la, itu je kot. Congratulations Bella on your engagement. May Allah ease everything sampai ke hari nikah nanti in sha Allah dan seterusnya sampai bila-bila. Amin. i made a special video on her engagement day as a present from me to her and i'm glad she likes it sooooo much hahaha. Ohh btw, just to let you know, if you follow me on my instagram, kadang i selalu je post video i edit on my feed. Any videos yang event orang biasanya memang i akan tanya owner dulu before post. Once the owner bagi green light baru i post. So for Bella's case, i dah tanya dia and her partner before i post k so takyah la kau nak membawang sangat lol. But now, i don't permanently letak dekat feed. i letak for like 2-3 days then i archive leeeeeee but hey, it's my feed btw tak suka boleh unfollow. thanks. hehe.

Okay Syaimaa. Macam mana ni misi cari soulmate tak jalan pun. Dah boleh serious banyak sikit la rasanya kot 😭

Doakan Syaimaa jugak semua orang okay!. Tak tak belum desperate lagi ni hehe.

My plus two. Thankyou you two.

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤


April 6, 2019

2019/8 - Enjoying days.

Salam & hai.
hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah.


So monday hari tu, these two kononnya nak surprise kan i but end up diri sendiri tersurprise haha. Terkejut la jugak sebab yang tengah tu (nama dia Sally btw) datang jauh-jauh dari Johor tssskkk. Sebenarnya i sepatutnya met her bulan lepas dekat IUKL before dia balik Johor for good, tp tak sempat. These two classmates saya masa dekat Sains Muar, tak sangka up till now pun boleh geng lagi sebab jumpa nya pun tak selalu. So much fun, reminiscing old good days. Thankyou, for making my hectic day dah tak hectic hari tu haha.

Short sikit la post kali ni. Saja nak buat appreciation post haha. Thankyou, Sally and Owhlife for making my monday night sooooooooo fun. i'm having rough days at work nowadays. Everything was perfect. My teammates baik, my housemate cool, my officemate da bomb but exclude this one particular person who keep getting on my nerves ughhh. i really need to take some time off but not now kot. i need a short escape untuk relax.

Btw, i dah 4 bulan survive kat sini alhamdulillah. sooo proud of myself *pat myself* two more months untuk habiskan my probation period and let see apa yang jadi next. Anim kata Syaimaa macam dah kerja setahun. Dia ingat aku dah kerja setahun k padahal probation pun tak habis lagi. I shall introduce Anim soon to you guys sbb she's sooo nice and vibes the same energy like me hahaha but later la. Ohh btw, semalam one of my happy pills ws me bagitau dia dah nak masuk another level soooon alhamdulillah. Eiiii soooo happy for this one tau! May Allah ease everything for both of you in sha Allah.

Ok la. Doakan saya dekat sini. 

Thankyou.

Barakallah,
Lots of Love,
S❤