January 1, 2020

2020/1-Hello 2020!!!!

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and iman inshaAllah.

Awww i miss blogging so much :( i dont have time these days and my laptop pun not in a good condition hence why i dah lama gila tak update and the last time was like 2 months ago. So this year, marked my 10 years berblogging and this post adalah post i yang ke 100!!!!! *drum rolls* Alhamdulillah masih bertahan blog ni walaupun previous post banyak dah delete and i still menyesal sampai sekarang k lol. Macam biasa, i wanted to share my first post for 2020 ni with you guys and i ingat i tak sempat but hehe i sneak dekat office time rehat writing this. Dan macam biasa jugak, i can't even remember my last year punya resolution lol so this time i taknak buat any resolution dah. i nak follow the flow je...hopefully haha.

Nak recap balik 2019, i think, 2019 is one of toughest year for me. Tahun paling banyak mental breakdown kot haha. But i think the highlight of my 2019 adalah when i survived 1 year working dekat Shah Alam and i managed to share my rezeki with my parents, adikadik and families walaupun tak banyak but still alhamdulillah. So many good news received and vice versa. My loved ones got married, further study, dapat kerja, got enggaged and banyak lagi happy events. i lost some of my friends too. Al Fatihah.

Thankyou Allah for giving a really good year full with ups and downs. for me and my loved ones. Thankyou for the blessings and rezq You showered us this year. You kept us all healthy this year and paling penting, You still didn't test me by taking one of my important ones back to You yet and for that, i eternally grateful. i'm not ready for that :(

For 2020,
i'd like to have a happy and healthy life fill with Your love and blessing. nak move forward and explore more. Nak start travel in sha Allah and lets be realistic, as i nak masuk 25 next year, nak jumpa love of my life la pulak! May You guide me to whoever is best for me, and for all of you jugak hehe. if ada rezeki nak ada family, alhamdulillah, if not pun alhamdulillah i'll look for the good side. Not going to put any pressure on myself. 

For my family and friends, these people make me want to be a better muslim day by day, so please give whatever good for them. Grant them happiness, grant them the best that life can offer and paling paling penting! grant us a huge mansion in Jannah, side by side :') Please guide us all to embrace Islam as a whole so we'll get our happy ending in Your Jannah nanti.

i'm so ready for 2020.

Ahlan Wasahlan 2020.
Its a new chapter, so let it be a good one :)

Lots of Love,

October 31, 2019

2019/17 - Dear self, Happy 24th!

Salam & hai!
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan.

So today, i am 24 years old and 4 days. Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah. Wow, 24 years old! This is how it feels to finally get there haha. Last year was lit. I was struggling with homesick and working life. On this day, one year ago, i just graduated. Look at me now, working phase dah almost one year dah in sha Allah this upcoming December. Time sure flies kan. I opened the doors to some new friendship and closed some doors on others. Met some talented people and spent more time with my family and those closest to me.

The truth is, i haven't got time to sit back and reflect on everything yang jadi for the past year haha lol. Look at me. i am twenty-four now wow still tak percaya haha. I am getting emotional ni ughhh. Thankyou for all the du'as and good words. I received tons of love from my family and friends alhamdulillah baik sangat semua orang doakan yang baik-baik untuk saya. May all the good dua's and words back to you guys and family too in sha Allah amin. Yang whatsapp, yang facetime nya lagi. Sedih, sebab happy sangat. i miss every single one of you sobs :( Thankyou for still remember me walaupun jarang sangat contact but still you guys punya effort to reach me on my birthday, i appreciate sangat sangat. i thank Allah swt for each of you. Thankyou for being kind and lovely. Paling penting, thankyou for existing.

i have been really tired and confused for the past month. So i decided to join these three masuk night of fright 7 dekat Sunway lagoon. Sumpah scary nak mampus. i don't know i yang penakut or that place memang scary lol but sumpah i jerit like for the whole session kot!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. It was fun, but i taknak repeat dah. Well, this isn't my first dramatic escape pun what do i expect kan. These three buat i gelak for the whole time, how could this not make me feel better. How could i still stress when i was surrounded by love and endless support.

You see, the older i get, the more i understand what it means to live my life to the fullest. I am older and more realistic now. Right now, i'm trying my best to simply figure out who i really am and i yakin, after this phase, i'll go through beyond this yang lagi macam macam. But for now, it's all about me. At the very least, time will bring change to the extent that i probably become stronger. A version that will need less and less help from people and able to handle things, for the most part, by myself in sha Allah.

I am happy now and i kind of hope to feel this way for a majority of my years. Maybe one day, i'll fully move on to adulthood but until then, lets just enjoy this moment kan. If i could speak to my younger self, i would tell me, "we're all going to get through when we get through. It will always be okay. Trust His plans". It's in moment like this, that i feel so proud of myself sebab i'm practicing what i preach and i feel good about it. 24 is maturing me hehe.

Okla. i nak balik Melaka jap lagi hehe. tak sabar. Itu je. Saja nak update blog after one month senyap ni haha. Doakan yang baik baik untuk i. I doakan yang baik-baik untuk you guys too in sha Allah.

Moga Syaimaa menjadi anak solehah umi ayah, kakak yang tak berkira dengan adik-adik, kawan yang selalu ikhlas membantu, dipertemukan jodoh yang terbaik untuk dunia dan akhiratnya dan disayangi serta disenangi orang sekelilingnya. Amin Ya Rabb. Amin.

Happy 24th dearself ❤😭

Lots of Love,

September 14, 2019

2019/16 - Fly High.

Salam & hai.
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah!

12 Sep 2019

The day i started to write this post, exactly 1 day before Atiqah went to Manchester. But the day i post this entri will be the day Atiqah dah ada dalam flight dia to Manchester haha. Faham ke tu. 

Well, the time has finally come!!!!! *drum rolls* After months of planning, preparing and nervously waiting, she's finally going to start her Master journey abroad. Alhamdulillah, sooooo proud of this one. Well, first time i tau, it was like 3 months ago kot masa dia datang nak ambik test dekat KL. Terkejut tu tak lah, but sedih tu ada, sikit, on that time. Tapi masa tu macam relax lagi. Sebab lama lagi kot but now dah tinggal like plus minus 34 hours lagi i rasa sedih banyak sikit haha. But what kind of friend would i be if i dwelled on something yang good for my friend kan. Tapi tu lah, i sedih sikit la my facetime buddy won't be around dah. While i can adapt, it will definitely be different not facetiming this one haha :(

She's going to start a new journey soon. Jauh banyak sikit kali ni and i can't wait to see and hear all about it through instagram stories and pictures. So before she fly away and become an amazing individual soon, let me put this in my blog so that one day i can remember this moment (tak tau la dia baca ke tak but whatever haha)

Just like when you first masuk asrama, your new life dekat sana will take some adjustments. Jumpa orang baru, tempat baru, speaking new language and adapting to new culture. There might be times bila you rasa homesick or nervous. It might take some time nak biasakan, but i believe, you'll get there. Step outside your comfort zone and explore the world. Never will you get so many opportunities then during your time abroad.

I wish you the happiest time of your life dekat sana. One year tak lama. Sekejap je. Live each of your days dekat sana to the fullest.Tak sabar nak like all the pictures of you smiling and enjoying the time of your life dekat sana. And i'm sure, there will be many of them. Gonna be the first one like all those pictures hehe.

Well this is it. Grab your ticket, step onto the plane, and get ready. Your adventure dah nak start ni omgeeeee cuaknyaaaaa haha.
13 Sep 2019

So i sempat apply half day to send this one off k nasib baik sempat haha. Well, this one obviously worth my annual leave plus memang dah janji nak hantar. i've seen her gone through so many things along the process nak pergi sana. Berapa kali turun naik KL main redah je haha. Stress sebab visa tak settle and everything kena buat last minute termasuklah beli flight ticket lol. Sabar (read;mereput) tunggu masa exam IELTS dengan adik dia sampai habis every floor KLCC sempat kitorang tawaf sampai resah resah tunggu member keluar exam haha teringat pulak. Picked her up dekat KLIA tengah tengah malam untuk ambik result IELTS the next day and entah la, each time pun rasa memang Allah dah permudahkan each of her step dengan gerak kan hati orang sekeliling dia untuk tolong. Kalau facetime tu ada je benda yang memeningkan kepala tak settle2 (but we still end up sembang merepek kahkah).

Disebabkan i secara tak langsung dah terlibat sekali dengan journey Master dia ni, the happiest thing adalah dapat send her off. Sebab rasa macam happy ending sangat haha. Rasa macam benda benda yang pening kepala dulu dulu tu semua dah settle. Sebab kalau dia pening kepala, saya pun kena tolong cari solution daheck kan haha. no more now. even kalau ada benda yang memeningkan dekat sana pun, she needs to sort things by herself which i believe dia kuat to face every single thing dekat sana. wow time sure flies.

Sedih? i am, obviously. but alhamdulillah takde la menangis kat airport. k fine, i cried, sikit la bila tengok dia salam salam family tu fuhh my heart tak boleh tahan dah tssskkkkk. Ohh, thankyou Khalisah for coming tooo!!!!! the night before kelly ws me and puff esok tu dia datang sekali!!!! yeayy.

i hope you have the best time of your life dekat sana. Everyone back home, myself included, will always make du'as and rooting for you all the way.

Just like my other post, tau-tau je dah setahun. This post too will turns one year very soon.
i'll see you, in sha Allah, in one year. Take care, i love you!

Congratulations Atiqah Hazan.
So happy that i got to send you off :')

Have fun, and come back safely.

Lots of Love,

August 22, 2019

2019/15 - Short Trip

Salam & hai!
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan in sha Allah.

i purposely choose this picture sebab suka sangat! hehe.
So last Saturday, i met my happy pills....again haha. Takdelah impromptu, obviously we planned this staycation for like a month kot but end up settle everything last minit jugak lol but alhamdulillah, everything went well walaupun tak ikut plan haha and i enjoyed every single moment with them. Supposedly berlima but then something jadi and Atiqah tak dapat join :( So berempat lah kami.

We went to bird park and Taman Botani sampai sakit-sakit kaki berjalan haha and then check in at Regalia. Well the main purpose kitorang pilih Regalia sebab nak usha infinity pool dia and at the end tak sempat pergi pun. Dengan sesatnya takpayah ceritalahhhh haha. We spent all night main games yang entah apa and borak gelak gelak sampai tak sedar masa and i slept at 3 sebab penat sangat sampai takboleh tidur lol. Oh we celebrated Sajda's belated birthday tooooo or sebenarnya ambik gambar dengan kek yang lebih. The next day we planned to go to Taman Eko but for some reason, tak pergi and kitorang terus balik. i sent Iqma and Sajda to MRT and Aisyah balik rumah safely then terus shoooot balik Shah Alam. Alhamdulillah a'la kulli hal. The trip was soooooo good that i already miss them masa on the way balik shah Alam #overlyattachedgirlfriend. I do know is that the time i spent with my happy pills during the staycation, roughly 24 hours la kot, flew by and left me wanting more. More of these good moments. More time to appreciate people who loves me.

Okay get back to the real topic, haha, it was a moment of pure joy that, deep down, i really needed to feel alive again after going through some of the hardest weeks of my working life. I've come to love these four (including Atiqah). Despite the five of us being busy dengan life masing-masing, i've managed to form a really strong friendships with them up to the point i feel a sense of powerlessness when faced with not-so-good-news from these people i care about and happy for them each time they share good things to me.

As i grow older, i wish for more of these happy moments with my family and friends. Because now that i dah start working, sometimes i rasa penat sangat. i wanted to grab hold of reality, but all i could do was fall. But each time i met my loved ones, i derived a strange, positive feeling and i felt alive as if i need these good vibes to remind me that i'm living and breathing and obviously i need to appreciate that, alhamdulillah, thankyou Allah.

But seriously, i asked Allah to comfort me sebab i stress sangat few weeks back and i never thought He will comfort me in a way i can never expect, by spending time with my gems❤ take care everyone, till we meet again in sha Allah.

i feel so grown up now.

Lots of love,

August 13, 2019

2019/14 - Asasi Sains Pertanian (Asper 9)-Part I

Salam & hai!
Hoping everyone in the best of health and imaan.

Tengah busy scroll and update gambar and suddenly came across my foundation's picture. i seriously can't remember if i pernah update pasal my foundation's life tak, so i scroll back my previous posts and found nothing pasal my foundation days haha. So this gonna be a post yang banyak part as i nak reminiscing my foundation's days here in my blog hehe.

So i started my foundation hujung May 2013 if i'm not mistaken. i lost track as dah 6 years++ i left foundation. Oh btw, after SPM, i went to Stamford College Malacca for Intensive English class (3 months) and then i went to Asasi Sains Pertanian, Universiti Putra Malaysia or known as ASPER. My batch ASPER 9 btw hehe. Mula tu macam ralat jugak la sebab i tak tau Asper ni belajar apa plus ada pertanian so nak kena jadi petani ke macam mana ni hahaha. Never that i know, it was the best decision i have ever met in my entire life that lead to who i am now alhamdulillah.

Basically, masa daftar masuk, i dapat Kolej Pendeta Za'aba. Majoriti budak asasi sepatutnya masuk Kolej 13 but "insan terpilih" yang daftar lambat ni tercampak dekat KPZ. Alhamdulillah jugak i masuk KPZ sbb dekat sini lah i jumpa Fatin Izzyan, my roomate masa asasi! The coolest roomate award shall goes to her hehe. Rindu pulak Yan :( Okay straight to the point Syaimaa.

So for this first ever post, i akan cerita the very basic things you need to know pasal this foundation. And as for the next next and next post, baru i akan cerita my experiences kat sana for my future references hehe. i tak sure if the new batch dah daftar masuk ke rasa macam dah, and i pun tak tau dah Asper batch berapa now but if kira-kira, supposely sekarang ni dah batch Asper 15 la kot oh wow.
So Asper ni stands for Asasi Sains Pertanian and the only universiti yang ada Asper ini hanya UPM. Dia sama je macam asasi Sains lain cuma ada tambahan subjek pertanian every semester. Oh total semester during my time dulu ada 3 Semester for a year but i tak sure system sekarang macam mana. Dengar ada pertanian mesti cam menggelabah kan haha, don't worry, i pun macam tu awal-awal dapat offer rasa macam "aku nak jadi Doktor dah kenapa nak kena ambik pertanian". Tapi kau relax je, belajar pertanian dia bukan seperti yang kau bayangkan right now, not even close. I enjoyed pertanian the most sebab dekat kelas biasa belajar Math, Biology, Chemistry, Physics. Stress jugak and the only time you can release your stress masa subjek pertanian ni and each semester lain2. Contoh macam kelas i, first semester more to handle animals, second semester kitorang more to plants and last semester more to entrepreneurship (plus subjek ni alhamdulillah senang nak score so boleh tolong naikkan and support pointer untuk the other subject yang core hehe). Exam for every semester ada 3 kali, test 1, test 2 and final.
How to enter ASPER
Asper ni ada dua cara you boleh masuk either through Fast Track and another one through Arus Perdana (normal). Fast Track ni you boleh apply using result trial SPM you so you akan masuk foundation awal than your friends and masa study pun pendek around 8 months macam tu lepas tu shoot terus masuk degree saing senior atas you. So kiranya if you SPM 2013(Batch 1996), you dapat Fast track, you masuk foundation maybe Jan 2014, habis foundation Aug 2014 and rehat for 1-2 weeks and masuk degree Sep 2014. See, kiranya umur 18 you dah start degree. For Arus Perdana pulak, apply guna result SPM and intake dia biasanya May each year, habis foundation May the next year. Contoh, you SPM 2012 (Batch 1995), you apply Arus Perdana, May 2013 you masuk foundation, May 2014 you habis foundation and Sep 2014 you masuk degree. So untuk arus perdana, umur you 19 tahun you will start your degree journey. Faham ke tu? hahaha.
Minimum Requirement for ASPER
i seriously have no idea how this requirement things work but i rasa mostly Asasi Sains nak min 5As ke atas or if you nak lebih yakin boleh cari/google requirements from the uni's website but for me, i applied using my SPM result - 6A3B. Tapi kindly be reminded yang my time adalah 6 years ago okay and the requirement maybe dah berubah as time past.
From Foundation to Degree
Okay ini the best part la for this foundation. Once you masuk, it's like one foot set into UPM sebab nanti degree you kira macam dah ada placement for yourself in UPM cuma course apa tu depends on you nanti (and your pointer obviously). So nanti after habis foundation, you dah tak payah berebut placement dengan lepasan asasi lain, matriks dan STPM untuk degree (you know how hard it is to find a placement nak masuk Uni kan). Nanti you akan apply 6 courses yang you nak if i'm not mistaken and tunggu la result course you dapat. Biasanya akan dapat antara 6 yang you pilih tu but ofcourse you kena pilih course based on your pointer jugak.
I tak sure kalau asasi ada ke scholarship tapi masa i study, dapat duit poket from KPT Malaysia tapi i tak ingat berapa banyak huhu sori rasanya RM 1200 per year/semester i tak sure :(
Obviously masa asasi memang takboleh bawak kereta/motor. But don't worry, bus provided untuk ke kelas every 15 minutes/half an hour bas akan gerak. So plan your time wisely sebab memang ramai especially kalau time exam. Nak bawak basikal pun boleh, you nak jalan kaki pun okay sebab i dulu pun selalu je jalan kaki as bas ada time akan penuh sebab share dengan student degree/master and phd jugak. Jalan kaki pun best around 15-20 minutes boleh spend time borak-borak dengan kawan sambil tengok pemandangan UPM yang you akan rindu once you habis belajar nanti huhu.

Ok la, i think ini antara benda basic you kena tau kot before masuk Asper. Come la join Asper, a year filled with quality education, good lecturers and friends, and paling penting precious experiences. I didn't expect much masa masuk sana but end up i seriously suka sangat. Missing my foundation's day :( i'll continue the next part dengan activities yang i buat dekat sana okay! more Parts to come hehe.

Lots of Love,